This story almost didn't happen, because I was suppose to go Amsterdam, and I really had no intention to go to Prague. However, Amsterdam didn't come through, and I decided to go to Prague, since I got nothing else to do. This turned out to be a great decision. It took a long time to get there, but Prague is such a beautiful city. I didn't know this going in, but Prague is one of the top party cities in the world. I was so glad that I came. We did normal tourist stuff during the day, and when the sun fell, we were really to head out.
We stopped by a bar first, and I had absinthe for the first time. It was delicious, not at all strong, and a great way to start off my night. Let's keep count of how much I drank. This is a double shot of about 70% alcohol, so 4. Then I ordered a double shot of some random vodka, so 6. I also ordered a B52 shot, 7 finished half of long island ice tea, so 8. This was only the bar.
We walked to a club, paid the cover, and walked in. It was the best club I have ever been to, no joke. There are five stories: each story had its over theme, music, and lighting. It was so awesome. Nothing too exciting happened at a club, we danced, stopped some creepy dudes from hitting on our friends. At around 4AM, the club closed and we started to walk back to our hostel. While I was in the club, I had 3 long island ice tea, and 4 tequila shots, so 15.
When we were about half way back, a random girl walked up to me; she put one hand on my crotch and started rubbing and other hand on my ass. Due to the amount of alcohol I consumed, I did not realize what she was. I just put my arm around her and enjoyed the free handjob. I just continued to talk to my friends like nothing was happening.
However, my friends started pushing her away. The only thought going through my head was "What the fuck did I do to you guys? Why are you doing this to me? This is cockblocking, literally." I don't remember if I actually asked what they were doing, I just remember I was a bit ticked off. Then, one guy pretended to be my boyfriend and told the girl that I was gay and she should leave.
By now, I finally realized that she was a hooker, and I was thinking straight enough to realize that I do not want to do a hooker, because one, she is a hooker, and two, I have no money in my wallet. I wasted everything on alcohol that night, about 50 dollars. I started to play along as being gay, and another friend came up and kissed me on the cheeks, just in case she needed more proof.
I also tried to push her away; I aimed for her shoulders, but without coordination and motor skills, I missed my target, I was a little low and toward the middle. You guessed, I pushed on her boobs. And they were pretty nice.
Thus end my night and my one and only encounter with a prostitution. What can I say about this experience? Hookers are real people who are just trying to make a living. They are not always ugly hoes; this one was pretty good looking with a pretty good body. All I want to say is, unless you are extremely desperate, don't do a hooker. But if you are, remember that you might be helping to feed her 5 children.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Tour de Aachen
As a group decision, we unanimously agreed to not travel this weekend, to take a break from our 4 day trip to southern France. Then a couple people went to Amsterdam, but I don't want to talk about that now.
So Saturday night, George, Andre, and I met up with Mark, and we had a BBQ outside. Both George and I had 5 brats, and a huge piece of chicken. My stomach wanted to explode after that. It hard to say, but there is a limit of the amount of sausages you can eat at once. (Important information for meat lovers and sluts.) Don't chock on it.
Later, we headed to Mark's friends apartment to drink, and we picked up a case of Bitburger. It was just a small gathering, nothing too crazy. Like I said before, we are having a low key weekend. After a few drinks, we started to play "Kings." Everyone who has ever played it know how drunk people become after the game ends, especially when someone brings a bottle of Ouzo. That shit is insanely delicious. When I was little, I always ate this coughing medicine that tasted exactly like Ouzo. Of course, I drank a ton of it. Ben, the guy who brought this, and I were doing shots out of a shot glass the size of Mount Rushmore. Naturally, I was out of my fucking mind. Apparently, I was bragging about my basketball skills and challenged Ben to a match. I had no idea what we bet. (I later found out we bet a beer, and he whooped my ass so bad, that even Jackie Chan would be impressed.)
According to George and Andre, I passed out on the couch at around 2AM. Most people left soon after that. But George and Andre decided to stay, for some reason until 5AM. I mean they stayed up the entire time while I was unconscious; to this day, I still have no idea what happened those three hours. I woke up all of the sudden and saw light outside. I thought to myself "I hope I'm still at the apartment." I opened my eyes and saw George and I felt relived, but in some pain. I ignored that and we started walking home. (I later found out George and Andre slapped me over and over again to wake me up. Thanks guys.)
I jumped on George's back and his initial reaction was of course to hurt me, so he throw me into the wall. Fortunately, alcohol deadened the pain and I barely felt it. But still, cheap shot. What are friends for? To carry you when you are wasted at 5:30 in the morning.
We were 50 feet from the bus stop, and I saw a bus and naturally assumed I can take it to go home, so I sprinted toward the bus, and I caught it. I pounded on the door for the driver to open it, but he didn't and just drove away. George told me the bus was stopped a red light, so he wouldn't open the door. I said fuck and sat down at the bus stop.
Sometime later, I think it's about 6AM, George woke me up again and told me to get on the bus. Andre told me where to get off, and they both left to go home, which with my luck, both of them lives in the opposite direction. I told them I will be fine and went to sit down.
The bus I took was 3A at the Hauptbahnhof (Main Train Station in Aachen) My destination was the Uniklinik (Aachen Hospital), which is 15 minutes away. I got on the bus expect to be home soon so I can rest easily on my bed.
...
The next thing I remember was waking up right at the Uniklinik. I thought "Awesome, I sure know when to wake up." I stood up to get off the bus, and I felt enormous pain from my behind. I realized that my butt cheeks are so sore that I wanted to get ass-cheeks-replacement-surgery. But I then realized they are a really nice pair, and so I decided to walk it off. I had to do the penguin walk to minimize my ass movement.
I wondered to myself, why does my ass hurt so much after a 15 minute ride? Then I checked my phone, and HOLY SHIT, it was 9AM. I was on the fucking bus for 3 FUCKING hours. I rode that bus 3 times around the city. This is easily the longest bus ride of my life.
Take this to be a lesson to everyone out there: DO NOT SIT DOWN ON A BUS IN A COMFORTABLE POSITION AT THE PEAK OF YOUR DRUNKENNESS.
F my life. The F stands for Fucking Awesome.
So Saturday night, George, Andre, and I met up with Mark, and we had a BBQ outside. Both George and I had 5 brats, and a huge piece of chicken. My stomach wanted to explode after that. It hard to say, but there is a limit of the amount of sausages you can eat at once. (Important information for meat lovers and sluts.) Don't chock on it.
Later, we headed to Mark's friends apartment to drink, and we picked up a case of Bitburger. It was just a small gathering, nothing too crazy. Like I said before, we are having a low key weekend. After a few drinks, we started to play "Kings." Everyone who has ever played it know how drunk people become after the game ends, especially when someone brings a bottle of Ouzo. That shit is insanely delicious. When I was little, I always ate this coughing medicine that tasted exactly like Ouzo. Of course, I drank a ton of it. Ben, the guy who brought this, and I were doing shots out of a shot glass the size of Mount Rushmore. Naturally, I was out of my fucking mind. Apparently, I was bragging about my basketball skills and challenged Ben to a match. I had no idea what we bet. (I later found out we bet a beer, and he whooped my ass so bad, that even Jackie Chan would be impressed.)
According to George and Andre, I passed out on the couch at around 2AM. Most people left soon after that. But George and Andre decided to stay, for some reason until 5AM. I mean they stayed up the entire time while I was unconscious; to this day, I still have no idea what happened those three hours. I woke up all of the sudden and saw light outside. I thought to myself "I hope I'm still at the apartment." I opened my eyes and saw George and I felt relived, but in some pain. I ignored that and we started walking home. (I later found out George and Andre slapped me over and over again to wake me up. Thanks guys.)
I jumped on George's back and his initial reaction was of course to hurt me, so he throw me into the wall. Fortunately, alcohol deadened the pain and I barely felt it. But still, cheap shot. What are friends for? To carry you when you are wasted at 5:30 in the morning.
We were 50 feet from the bus stop, and I saw a bus and naturally assumed I can take it to go home, so I sprinted toward the bus, and I caught it. I pounded on the door for the driver to open it, but he didn't and just drove away. George told me the bus was stopped a red light, so he wouldn't open the door. I said fuck and sat down at the bus stop.
Sometime later, I think it's about 6AM, George woke me up again and told me to get on the bus. Andre told me where to get off, and they both left to go home, which with my luck, both of them lives in the opposite direction. I told them I will be fine and went to sit down.
The bus I took was 3A at the Hauptbahnhof (Main Train Station in Aachen) My destination was the Uniklinik (Aachen Hospital), which is 15 minutes away. I got on the bus expect to be home soon so I can rest easily on my bed.
...
The next thing I remember was waking up right at the Uniklinik. I thought "Awesome, I sure know when to wake up." I stood up to get off the bus, and I felt enormous pain from my behind. I realized that my butt cheeks are so sore that I wanted to get ass-cheeks-replacement-surgery. But I then realized they are a really nice pair, and so I decided to walk it off. I had to do the penguin walk to minimize my ass movement.
I wondered to myself, why does my ass hurt so much after a 15 minute ride? Then I checked my phone, and HOLY SHIT, it was 9AM. I was on the fucking bus for 3 FUCKING hours. I rode that bus 3 times around the city. This is easily the longest bus ride of my life.
Take this to be a lesson to everyone out there: DO NOT SIT DOWN ON A BUS IN A COMFORTABLE POSITION AT THE PEAK OF YOUR DRUNKENNESS.
F my life. The F stands for Fucking Awesome.
Friday, April 30, 2010
The Wakeup
Sophomore year is over, and this is the last day I'll live in my dorm room. To my distaste, all of my friends have already gone home, and I was left alone in the building. Fortunately, Foxy's always around to keep me company. This same night, we decided to head to Heat once again, to party together one last time before summer begins.
As well, we pregamed (I mean, who doesn't before going to a club). The place was damn near packed when we got there. I thought to myself tonight would totally worth $5. However, as life always goes, everything goes around and fuck you from behind. Upstairs, the fun part of the club, was almost empty. Everyone's outside chilling on the balcony for some reason.
30 minutes into the action, I decided to find out what tonight is, because Heat usually have a theme for most night. I was excited to find out that tonight was "sexy night." Sounds rocking right? Too bad all the ugly people went. Then comes the beauty of alcohol. It makes boring people interest, forecast ugly people as attractive, and eliminates any standard I have. Screw Einstein, give the dude that invented alcohol a Noble Price.
Given into tonight's Sexy Night theme, I absolutely had to take off my shirt; who can be sexy with a shirt on right? Too bad Foxy didn't share the same belief; I even asked several somewhat attractive girls' opinions (keep in mind I'm already pretty much drunk), and they all said shirt off is better. He didn't budge.
As the night went on, I had several interesting conversations, I had given up on finding a girl with no self esteem, mainly because everyone there was gay. I can only remember 2 of those conversations, they go something like this.
I was talking to this black dude sitting a chair about rap. He mentioned something about Dr. Dre and I just went all black on him.
"Yo dude, Dr. Dre's the bomb, yo. Straight Outta Compton shit is fucking awesome."
Actually, that's all I remember talking to him about. Then I somehow convinced him to give me his neck chain that has a lighting rod on it, you know, one of those nightclub necklaces.
Then, I started talking to a lesbian, and of course, when you talk to a lesbian, you ask questions about being a lesbian, because all guys love lesbians, and those who don't are either gay or asexual.
"So, you were straight before turning into a lesbian?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
"Is it different? How do guys compare to girls?"
"Girls are better, girls know how to take care of girls."
"Of course, I heard guys give the best hand jobs. I don't know it personally, just heard about it."
She giggled, and the rest was blurry.
I went back to the dance floor and literally started dancing with the only girl that is there. 30 seconds into it, I found out she has a boyfriend. I said fuck it, and continued. Too bad another 30 seconds later, she kissed me and ran away. My eye followed her to a fairly large man. I decided to evacuate immediately.
Here is the reason why this story is named the wakeup. We got out of the club, and obvious I was really drunk. Foxy was sober because he has to drive. We spent 20 minutes looking for his car, but it wasn't there. Then we found a sign that says "All streets need to be cleared by 2AM due the marathon tomorrow." We checked our phones and it was 3AM. He obvious wasn't happy, because otherwise we would have gone to the after party that we were invited to.
He decided to call safe rider to get us home. But the wait was 45 minutes. We just sat in the grass and waited. I told him just call me when safe rider gets here, I'll just lie on the grass for a little bit. The next small piece of memory was me getting off the bus and unable to open the door. The security guard has to help me. Then was waking up almost completely wet from head to toe. I had no fucking clue what happened.
The next day, Foxy filled me in. I passed out while lying on the grass, obviously. When the bus finally got to us, Foxy tried to wake me up, but nothing worked. Without other ideas, the bus driver walked out of the bus, while holding a gallon of water. He dumped it all on me and I finally woke up. But I thought I was only out for a minute and didn't realize I was wet. The bus driver dropped me off and I went home. Foxy had to bribe the driver with some cash because he lived farther away. So pouring water on someone passed out actually works, who would known?
As well, we pregamed (I mean, who doesn't before going to a club). The place was damn near packed when we got there. I thought to myself tonight would totally worth $5. However, as life always goes, everything goes around and fuck you from behind. Upstairs, the fun part of the club, was almost empty. Everyone's outside chilling on the balcony for some reason.
30 minutes into the action, I decided to find out what tonight is, because Heat usually have a theme for most night. I was excited to find out that tonight was "sexy night." Sounds rocking right? Too bad all the ugly people went. Then comes the beauty of alcohol. It makes boring people interest, forecast ugly people as attractive, and eliminates any standard I have. Screw Einstein, give the dude that invented alcohol a Noble Price.
Given into tonight's Sexy Night theme, I absolutely had to take off my shirt; who can be sexy with a shirt on right? Too bad Foxy didn't share the same belief; I even asked several somewhat attractive girls' opinions (keep in mind I'm already pretty much drunk), and they all said shirt off is better. He didn't budge.
As the night went on, I had several interesting conversations, I had given up on finding a girl with no self esteem, mainly because everyone there was gay. I can only remember 2 of those conversations, they go something like this.
I was talking to this black dude sitting a chair about rap. He mentioned something about Dr. Dre and I just went all black on him.
"Yo dude, Dr. Dre's the bomb, yo. Straight Outta Compton shit is fucking awesome."
Actually, that's all I remember talking to him about. Then I somehow convinced him to give me his neck chain that has a lighting rod on it, you know, one of those nightclub necklaces.
Then, I started talking to a lesbian, and of course, when you talk to a lesbian, you ask questions about being a lesbian, because all guys love lesbians, and those who don't are either gay or asexual.
"So, you were straight before turning into a lesbian?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
"Is it different? How do guys compare to girls?"
"Girls are better, girls know how to take care of girls."
"Of course, I heard guys give the best hand jobs. I don't know it personally, just heard about it."
She giggled, and the rest was blurry.
I went back to the dance floor and literally started dancing with the only girl that is there. 30 seconds into it, I found out she has a boyfriend. I said fuck it, and continued. Too bad another 30 seconds later, she kissed me and ran away. My eye followed her to a fairly large man. I decided to evacuate immediately.
Here is the reason why this story is named the wakeup. We got out of the club, and obvious I was really drunk. Foxy was sober because he has to drive. We spent 20 minutes looking for his car, but it wasn't there. Then we found a sign that says "All streets need to be cleared by 2AM due the marathon tomorrow." We checked our phones and it was 3AM. He obvious wasn't happy, because otherwise we would have gone to the after party that we were invited to.
He decided to call safe rider to get us home. But the wait was 45 minutes. We just sat in the grass and waited. I told him just call me when safe rider gets here, I'll just lie on the grass for a little bit. The next small piece of memory was me getting off the bus and unable to open the door. The security guard has to help me. Then was waking up almost completely wet from head to toe. I had no fucking clue what happened.
The next day, Foxy filled me in. I passed out while lying on the grass, obviously. When the bus finally got to us, Foxy tried to wake me up, but nothing worked. Without other ideas, the bus driver walked out of the bus, while holding a gallon of water. He dumped it all on me and I finally woke up. But I thought I was only out for a minute and didn't realize I was wet. The bus driver dropped me off and I went home. Foxy had to bribe the driver with some cash because he lived farther away. So pouring water on someone passed out actually works, who would known?
Saturday, April 17, 2010
The Gay Party
One of the last weekends left in my sophomore year, so I had to make the most of it. Too bad fate is never on my side, and there were virtually no parties going on this entire month. It was terrible; what else am I suppose to do on a weekend night? Then, at around 10PM, I was sitting in the lounge chatting with Foxy, and all of the sudden we saw our RA walking through with flashy makeups and a mohawk. She said there is a party on Dawson street and we were welcome to come. Having no other choices, we decided to go.
Once we got there, I realized that it was a toga party, for the gays and lesbians. I have no problem with it; tonight was a fun night. There was a little man there carrying a tray of jello-shots, which was apparently all they had for drinks. Having no choice, I started chugging away. After negotiating the price, I managed to get 3 for a dollar; but for some reason, he gave me 5, and then I handed him my dollar, then he gave me 3 more. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't complaining at all; it was awesome. So naturally, I got drunk quickly; plus, several people had beer on them and I mooched a few cans off of them.
The night went as any normal night would go. We talked, drank, and danced. Strange things started happening toward the end of the night, again, a usual occurrence. I went into the bathroom to pee, but Foxy dared a gay dude to go in with me. And of course he did. We pretended to be doing something in the bathroom, and I could hear Foxy cracking up outside the door. The gay dude and I walked out of the door, and he was still laughing.
I don't believe anything happened after this for a bit, we just danced. But later that night, we started talking to this girl; first, Foxy dared her to finish a jello-shot off of the floor for a dollar, she did it with ease. Next, he dared her to make out with me for a dollar, again she did it. After this, she started saying that she had a boyfriend and all the random junk that girls say. I moved on to the next girl fairly quickly.
Let me say that first, I was very drunk, and second, there were no other girl at the party. I went for a bisexual who look like David Hasselhoff but had her face slammed into the wall. Her face was almost completely flat. It was unbelievable. I can tell she was ugly, but desperation do drive a man to do deeds he wouldn't do otherwise. Luckily, I ditched her half way through, and went back to my friends.
Tonight was just a weird night, but it was still fun to just horse around.
Once we got there, I realized that it was a toga party, for the gays and lesbians. I have no problem with it; tonight was a fun night. There was a little man there carrying a tray of jello-shots, which was apparently all they had for drinks. Having no choice, I started chugging away. After negotiating the price, I managed to get 3 for a dollar; but for some reason, he gave me 5, and then I handed him my dollar, then he gave me 3 more. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't complaining at all; it was awesome. So naturally, I got drunk quickly; plus, several people had beer on them and I mooched a few cans off of them.
The night went as any normal night would go. We talked, drank, and danced. Strange things started happening toward the end of the night, again, a usual occurrence. I went into the bathroom to pee, but Foxy dared a gay dude to go in with me. And of course he did. We pretended to be doing something in the bathroom, and I could hear Foxy cracking up outside the door. The gay dude and I walked out of the door, and he was still laughing.
I don't believe anything happened after this for a bit, we just danced. But later that night, we started talking to this girl; first, Foxy dared her to finish a jello-shot off of the floor for a dollar, she did it with ease. Next, he dared her to make out with me for a dollar, again she did it. After this, she started saying that she had a boyfriend and all the random junk that girls say. I moved on to the next girl fairly quickly.
Let me say that first, I was very drunk, and second, there were no other girl at the party. I went for a bisexual who look like David Hasselhoff but had her face slammed into the wall. Her face was almost completely flat. It was unbelievable. I can tell she was ugly, but desperation do drive a man to do deeds he wouldn't do otherwise. Luckily, I ditched her half way through, and went back to my friends.
Tonight was just a weird night, but it was still fun to just horse around.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
The Melwood Hostile Hospitality
Today is the Kid Kudi concert. What sucks about it is that it lasted til 10PM, so our options for parties were limited. Especially after discovering a party at Pika, only to get there and realize we had to be on a fucking list. They apparently did not want their party to get too crowded. We just said fuck them and left. After searching for a bit, we got news of a party on melwood. Having no other options, we started walking.
The house that we walked into was surprising more spacious that any other house I have been too. The hallway connected to the door can actually fit 2 people in a row. We said our 'what's ups', nodded our heads toward the dudes living there, and headed downstairs for some beer. To my distaste, the basement was crowded, and the beer they had was called "American." You can't get more cocky than that. Americans drinking American beer, what the fuck? It was no surprise that the beer tasted like ass; no, not a clean and washed ass, but an ass that just evacuated 10 pounds of shits. Without options, I chugged and chugged, minimizing the time that beer stay in my mouth. What was even more fucked up was that they ran out of this American beer. I mean, if you are getting shitty beers, at least buy a shit-ton so you don't ran out an hour into the party.
Being boring and not much else to do, I scoped around, and I saw my friend Fang talking to these two girls. I went over and started to talking with them. I asked Fang for the full beer he had in his hands, he thought that was cute to pour that entire can on me. I was wet from top to bottom, but only in the front. It was so damn uncomfortable; what's worse is the smell, remember how I said the beer tasted like ass, well the smell was worse and I had to carry that with me the entire night. 20 minutes later, all four of us proceeded to move upstairs to dance. Some fuckers destroyed the boombox in the basement, so we wanted to see if any music is playing upstairs. Luckily there was, it was a 1 foot tall karaoke machine; we were in the fucking 80s up there. Too bad no dude was in an afro rocking a cassette player.
I couldn't care less, we just started dancing. What's even more fortunate is that both me and Fang wanted a different girl, and we didn't fight for them. I got the long faced one, he got the baby faced one. Regardless of that, both girls were decent looking, and especially good looking after 8 beers. I have no idea how long we danced, but it was a damn long time. I knew she was into me once we were holding hands, and I tried to let go, but she held on pretty tight.
The surprise of the night happened at about 1AM. The girls went upstairs to go to the bathroom; me, Fang, and this other dude that was trying to compete with Fang for his girl were just talking next to the stairs. Then, out of nowhere, a big dude jumped on Fang, wrapped his arm around Fang's neck, threw him to the ground, and punched him in the face. Being extremely confused, I went in between Fang and that dude.
Me "What the fuck dude? What did we do?"
Dude "That fucker is pissing on my carpet?"
Fang "What are you talking about? I was pissing anywhere, we were just talking."
Dude "You definitely were pissing, how else was the carpet wet."
At this moment, I realized how fucking dumb this dude is; I just started disproving his theory; fist fight definitely wasn't an option. It was simply a numbers game. On one side, it was me and Fang, totals at about 300 pounds. Barney and my marine friend left with 2 girls; Foxy left cause Lezette was trying to get him into a fight. On the other side, there were 4 huge black dudes, weighing in 1 ton. Chances are if we tried something, we would end up in the hospital, with doctors trying to put our limbs back onto our bodies, and police writing us up for destructive behavior.
Me "How did he piss onto the floor? We were just talking. There was 3 dudes standing in a circle talking, how gay do you think we are?"
Dude "Then who pissed on the floor?"
Me "Fuck if I know, but it definitely wasn't Fang over there. Look at his fly, it's all zipped up. What, you think he can just piss right through his jeans."
I might have said something more, but he was eventually convinced. He apologized to Fang, and told us from now on we can drink for free (We have yet to go back there) and we can stay for the after party. When the girls got back, we told them what happened. Since Fang wasn't really doing well with his girl, I tried to get him some sympathy; it kinda worked, since she was dancing with that other dude and not him just moments before. Regardless, the girls both left, cause according to my girl "They wanted no one tonight." I thought to myself, I just wasted 2 hours, and this was all I get. I said fuck it, and went to check on my friends, the ones that were still left at the party (There was none). But Barney eventually came back, since he was crashing at my place, and needed me.
Right as we were about to leave, Lezette, Snaggie, and some other girl were right about the leave. I decided to wait for them, which turned out to be a great decision. Otherwise I would have missed out on another fight. While we were on the porch, Lezette tried to squeeze through a black dude, and he apparently elbowed her in the face. I personally didn't see this happen, so I couldn't judge who was at fault here. She just went crazy, and charged at the black dude. It told about 3 of us, but we eventually stopped her and dragged her out of that porch. She was crying the entire time, and saying things like "You don't do that to a female." I was laughing on the inside, because she said female. There was no reason for that to be funny, but it definitely was at the moment. Eventually, that black dude and two of his friends caught up with us. My first thought was there would definitely be a war here. To my surprise, Lezette made up with that dude. It was like she was on her 3rd month of pregnancy. The change of mood from angry enough to kill that guy to laughing and hugging him. I just sat back and watched, while just chatting with that black dudes friend. I will never understand woman, especially the Puerto ricans.
The house that we walked into was surprising more spacious that any other house I have been too. The hallway connected to the door can actually fit 2 people in a row. We said our 'what's ups', nodded our heads toward the dudes living there, and headed downstairs for some beer. To my distaste, the basement was crowded, and the beer they had was called "American." You can't get more cocky than that. Americans drinking American beer, what the fuck? It was no surprise that the beer tasted like ass; no, not a clean and washed ass, but an ass that just evacuated 10 pounds of shits. Without options, I chugged and chugged, minimizing the time that beer stay in my mouth. What was even more fucked up was that they ran out of this American beer. I mean, if you are getting shitty beers, at least buy a shit-ton so you don't ran out an hour into the party.
Being boring and not much else to do, I scoped around, and I saw my friend Fang talking to these two girls. I went over and started to talking with them. I asked Fang for the full beer he had in his hands, he thought that was cute to pour that entire can on me. I was wet from top to bottom, but only in the front. It was so damn uncomfortable; what's worse is the smell, remember how I said the beer tasted like ass, well the smell was worse and I had to carry that with me the entire night. 20 minutes later, all four of us proceeded to move upstairs to dance. Some fuckers destroyed the boombox in the basement, so we wanted to see if any music is playing upstairs. Luckily there was, it was a 1 foot tall karaoke machine; we were in the fucking 80s up there. Too bad no dude was in an afro rocking a cassette player.
I couldn't care less, we just started dancing. What's even more fortunate is that both me and Fang wanted a different girl, and we didn't fight for them. I got the long faced one, he got the baby faced one. Regardless of that, both girls were decent looking, and especially good looking after 8 beers. I have no idea how long we danced, but it was a damn long time. I knew she was into me once we were holding hands, and I tried to let go, but she held on pretty tight.
The surprise of the night happened at about 1AM. The girls went upstairs to go to the bathroom; me, Fang, and this other dude that was trying to compete with Fang for his girl were just talking next to the stairs. Then, out of nowhere, a big dude jumped on Fang, wrapped his arm around Fang's neck, threw him to the ground, and punched him in the face. Being extremely confused, I went in between Fang and that dude.
Me "What the fuck dude? What did we do?"
Dude "That fucker is pissing on my carpet?"
Fang "What are you talking about? I was pissing anywhere, we were just talking."
Dude "You definitely were pissing, how else was the carpet wet."
At this moment, I realized how fucking dumb this dude is; I just started disproving his theory; fist fight definitely wasn't an option. It was simply a numbers game. On one side, it was me and Fang, totals at about 300 pounds. Barney and my marine friend left with 2 girls; Foxy left cause Lezette was trying to get him into a fight. On the other side, there were 4 huge black dudes, weighing in 1 ton. Chances are if we tried something, we would end up in the hospital, with doctors trying to put our limbs back onto our bodies, and police writing us up for destructive behavior.
Me "How did he piss onto the floor? We were just talking. There was 3 dudes standing in a circle talking, how gay do you think we are?"
Dude "Then who pissed on the floor?"
Me "Fuck if I know, but it definitely wasn't Fang over there. Look at his fly, it's all zipped up. What, you think he can just piss right through his jeans."
I might have said something more, but he was eventually convinced. He apologized to Fang, and told us from now on we can drink for free (We have yet to go back there) and we can stay for the after party. When the girls got back, we told them what happened. Since Fang wasn't really doing well with his girl, I tried to get him some sympathy; it kinda worked, since she was dancing with that other dude and not him just moments before. Regardless, the girls both left, cause according to my girl "They wanted no one tonight." I thought to myself, I just wasted 2 hours, and this was all I get. I said fuck it, and went to check on my friends, the ones that were still left at the party (There was none). But Barney eventually came back, since he was crashing at my place, and needed me.
Right as we were about to leave, Lezette, Snaggie, and some other girl were right about the leave. I decided to wait for them, which turned out to be a great decision. Otherwise I would have missed out on another fight. While we were on the porch, Lezette tried to squeeze through a black dude, and he apparently elbowed her in the face. I personally didn't see this happen, so I couldn't judge who was at fault here. She just went crazy, and charged at the black dude. It told about 3 of us, but we eventually stopped her and dragged her out of that porch. She was crying the entire time, and saying things like "You don't do that to a female." I was laughing on the inside, because she said female. There was no reason for that to be funny, but it definitely was at the moment. Eventually, that black dude and two of his friends caught up with us. My first thought was there would definitely be a war here. To my surprise, Lezette made up with that dude. It was like she was on her 3rd month of pregnancy. The change of mood from angry enough to kill that guy to laughing and hugging him. I just sat back and watched, while just chatting with that black dudes friend. I will never understand woman, especially the Puerto ricans.
Friday, March 26, 2010
The Chicken Wing Incident
Today was kind of a terrible day for parties; my buddies and I were unable to locate any decent parties. Without any decent options, we decided to head to P Cafe. As usual, KMo, Barney, and I waited outside the backdoor, while Foxy and Josh went into to unlock the door. This process has always went pretty smoothly; the people in there just don't understand how to secure their bar, oh well, who cares.
The place was decently big. There are three floors. The first floor is like a combination of a restaurant and a bar. The 2nd floor has a dance floor, and the third floor is just a tiny area where people get drinks. I think the DJ is up in the third floor.
The night started fairly normal; we all got some drinks; everything was half off, so we bought more than the usual amount. Foxy's girlfriend didn't come, so he was a bit more lose then usual. We were talking to these two girls who didn't believe Foxy was over 21. I thought it was pretty funny, cause he does have a baby face. Then, we danced with two other girls; everything was going great, then I made the mistake of telling her that I'm not 21 yet. I figured that's the reason that she left. I really don't fit in bars. Everyone just seem so old. It just felt funny to talk to anyone.
But the real story came at about 12:30ish. I went to the third floor to grab a beer with Barney and Foxy. I noticed that there was a basket of chicken wings just lying on the table in front of the DJ. Knowing me, I can't deny those tiny little bastards. I sneakily took one and walked downstairs. KMo saw me eating it, and said
"Where did you get those from?"
"Dude, there's a whole basket upstairs."
About 10 minutes later, I walked up to the third floor again to grab a beer. I saw KMo arguing with 3 big dudes next to the stairs while holding that basket of chicken wings.
These are the thoughts that went through my head as I walked past him.
"Should I go help him? I can't just leave him hanging alone with 3 dudes. What if he rats out the rest of us? Then everyone's gonna get in trouble. I'll wait and see how this plays out; if it gets worse, I'm tell the guys that KMo mistook those wings for the one he ordered just moments before."
This was what I heard, it's not complete, but it does paint the story fairly well.
Dude "What the fuck are you doing with those wings?"
KMo "I bought them, they are mine."
Dude "No they are not, I saw you take them from the table."
KMo "Sorry, I made a mistake. I'll put it back."
Dude "You think you can just take the wings without any trouble."
KMo "Com'on, don't made a big deal, let me pay for this basket."
Dude "Are you even 21?"
I couldn't hear the rest. But things did not escalate, so I simply walked downstairs. After another 5 minutes later, I saw a bouncer escort KMo out of the bar. Barney texted him, and he just said he didn't get in any trouble, they just told him to leave, so he went back to his dorm.
I still can't believe he tried to take the whole basket.
The place was decently big. There are three floors. The first floor is like a combination of a restaurant and a bar. The 2nd floor has a dance floor, and the third floor is just a tiny area where people get drinks. I think the DJ is up in the third floor.
The night started fairly normal; we all got some drinks; everything was half off, so we bought more than the usual amount. Foxy's girlfriend didn't come, so he was a bit more lose then usual. We were talking to these two girls who didn't believe Foxy was over 21. I thought it was pretty funny, cause he does have a baby face. Then, we danced with two other girls; everything was going great, then I made the mistake of telling her that I'm not 21 yet. I figured that's the reason that she left. I really don't fit in bars. Everyone just seem so old. It just felt funny to talk to anyone.
But the real story came at about 12:30ish. I went to the third floor to grab a beer with Barney and Foxy. I noticed that there was a basket of chicken wings just lying on the table in front of the DJ. Knowing me, I can't deny those tiny little bastards. I sneakily took one and walked downstairs. KMo saw me eating it, and said
"Where did you get those from?"
"Dude, there's a whole basket upstairs."
About 10 minutes later, I walked up to the third floor again to grab a beer. I saw KMo arguing with 3 big dudes next to the stairs while holding that basket of chicken wings.
These are the thoughts that went through my head as I walked past him.
"Should I go help him? I can't just leave him hanging alone with 3 dudes. What if he rats out the rest of us? Then everyone's gonna get in trouble. I'll wait and see how this plays out; if it gets worse, I'm tell the guys that KMo mistook those wings for the one he ordered just moments before."
This was what I heard, it's not complete, but it does paint the story fairly well.
Dude "What the fuck are you doing with those wings?"
KMo "I bought them, they are mine."
Dude "No they are not, I saw you take them from the table."
KMo "Sorry, I made a mistake. I'll put it back."
Dude "You think you can just take the wings without any trouble."
KMo "Com'on, don't made a big deal, let me pay for this basket."
Dude "Are you even 21?"
I couldn't hear the rest. But things did not escalate, so I simply walked downstairs. After another 5 minutes later, I saw a bouncer escort KMo out of the bar. Barney texted him, and he just said he didn't get in any trouble, they just told him to leave, so he went back to his dorm.
I still can't believe he tried to take the whole basket.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
New York Citaay
This is the long anticipated new York trip. Friday afternoon, we were ready to go. I had to go to UPMC to pick up the eggs my mom made for us. When we drove past UPMC again, we saw nick looking down on the ground and waiting for his bus; we tried to wave at him bit of course he didn't see us.
At about 7pm, we decided to go to KFC for dinner, so I grabbed the GPS and located the nearest KFC. It was in the infamous Bedford. Once we got off the highway, we saw a few restaurants, but we had our eyes set on KFC, so we followed the GPS into a pitch of darkness. There was nothing, no restaurants anywhere. John said screw this and we began to backtrack. Sadly, we found more darkness because John lost his trust of the GPS system so he started his own route. Eventually we got back on the highway but we had absolute no desire to go back to that hellhole. We just pulled over at a resting spit and grabbed some pizza. After a few more hours of driving we got to Andrew's house. We then went to bed and got up next morning. Andrew's mom made us a huge breakfast and it was delicious. We then began our drive to Chloe’s house.
Andrew decided it was a good idea to document John's every moment with the camera. At one toll booth, Andrew took a picture of John paying. The lady there murmured "you shouldn't take a picture of me." most of us didn't really hear her, so we sat I our car waiting for the change. I saw her with a stack of change, so i was really confused as to why she won't let a leave. About 5 minutes later, a cop car pulled next to us and he told John to get out of the lane and pull over at a different spot. He then came to the driver's window and asked to look at our camera. He then asked us some standard question like where we were going and such. He told us to delete the picture and took John's driver's license to check for his criminal record, I assumed. We laughed at this incident for a while.
We then got to Chloe’s house. And apparently nick just got on a plane, after a whole day at the airport. After we are all settled in, we went to the beach. Chloe, Urie, Andrew and I took off our shoes and walked into the icy cold water. It was one of the most painful things I have ever experienced. It wasn't just painful for a small amount of time, it lingered on a while, while my foot warmed itself. I have no idea why I went back into the water a few more times. Then came 5pm when nick had to be picked up at the airport. We spent most of the night planning our morning activities in the city of New York.
Day 1 in NYC. We had tickets to see the statue of liberty at 11 so we had about 30 minutes to waste before getting on the ferry. When we got to the statue, it was much bigger than I thought. We walked around it and then finally went in. It sucked that we couldn't get tickets to into the crown. We only got to the base. It was still pretty cool since the base had a whole museum in it. I learned about the history of the torch and how people tried to solve the lighting problem. We took a few more pictures and headed to Ellis Island, which was not really that interesting, so we just looked around the wall of names and went back to the city.
By that time it was already 2ish, so we decided to not walk to the Brooklyn bridge, but instead just see it from afar. Most of is wanted to go to Chinatown for lunch, so we walked toward our destination. We scanned around Chinatown to find a place and ultimately decided on a Szechuan type place. I ordered the bruised lamb with noodles and it was delicious. It actually tasted like authentic Chinese food, something which I have not experienced thus far in America. Next we headed to a very luxurious restaurant for their smoothies; it was very delicious bit very pricey. Right after eating we started to head back to Chloe's for dinner.
Day 2 in NYC. We started later today and didn't get to the city until 11 or so. We went straight to the museum of natural history and spent about 3 hours doing museum stuff. At 2pm, we went to shake shack for dinner. Our next destination was central park. It wasn't really what I expected it to be. There were no performers at every corner. It was just a normal park but a lot larger than most parks. We climbed a rock during our trail. I set my camera up at the bottom and ran up the rock in 10 seconds to get in the picture. It was fun.
We began walk along the streets of New York and went to some cool shops. The apply store and a toy store. We found Noah’s ark for 2400 dollars. We then walked to an ice skating ring, and we saw a booth that sells to tickets to go to the top of the Rockefeller Plaza. The only problem was that the tickets were 21 dollars apiece. So we were hesitant about buying them. We eventually did and it was worth every penny. We got to the top before sunset and took a bunch of pictures, then took more during sunset and a lot more after sunset. I got a chance to see New York at night on top of a 70 story building. It was truly an amazing experience. Even the elevator ride was spectacular, the roof of the elevator put on lighting show for us. We spent about 90 minutes on the top, and had to come back down to earth to go to the Nintendo store.
Next came Times Square. It had the Vegas strip feeling but not up to the Vegas caliber. It was still awesome to see. We went to the M&M store, toys R us, and the Hershey store. All of which are ridiculously expensive.
Our final destination was a train station that was apparently a very important building. It was cool to see. On our way back to Penn station, I got a picture outside of the Madison square garden. It was awesome. We got on the train and went back to Chloe’s.
The next morning, Chloe took us to an authentic New York pizza place. I do admit the pizza was delicious. After lunch, we said our goodbyes and we took off for the Hershey factory. Right as we got to the Veresano Bridge, we realized that we have to pay a toll and that none of us had money on us. After collecting every penny from everyone, we were still about five dollars short. Katie had cash in her wallet but it was in the trunk. We had to stop the car so she can get the money.
After about 4 hours of driving, we arrived at the Hershey factory at 5:36pm only to realize that the factory closed at 5pm. It funny how there were four of us in the car, we remembered to check the address and whether the tour is free, but no one thought to check the hours. Fail us.
At about 7pm, we decided to go to KFC for dinner, so I grabbed the GPS and located the nearest KFC. It was in the infamous Bedford. Once we got off the highway, we saw a few restaurants, but we had our eyes set on KFC, so we followed the GPS into a pitch of darkness. There was nothing, no restaurants anywhere. John said screw this and we began to backtrack. Sadly, we found more darkness because John lost his trust of the GPS system so he started his own route. Eventually we got back on the highway but we had absolute no desire to go back to that hellhole. We just pulled over at a resting spit and grabbed some pizza. After a few more hours of driving we got to Andrew's house. We then went to bed and got up next morning. Andrew's mom made us a huge breakfast and it was delicious. We then began our drive to Chloe’s house.
Andrew decided it was a good idea to document John's every moment with the camera. At one toll booth, Andrew took a picture of John paying. The lady there murmured "you shouldn't take a picture of me." most of us didn't really hear her, so we sat I our car waiting for the change. I saw her with a stack of change, so i was really confused as to why she won't let a leave. About 5 minutes later, a cop car pulled next to us and he told John to get out of the lane and pull over at a different spot. He then came to the driver's window and asked to look at our camera. He then asked us some standard question like where we were going and such. He told us to delete the picture and took John's driver's license to check for his criminal record, I assumed. We laughed at this incident for a while.
We then got to Chloe’s house. And apparently nick just got on a plane, after a whole day at the airport. After we are all settled in, we went to the beach. Chloe, Urie, Andrew and I took off our shoes and walked into the icy cold water. It was one of the most painful things I have ever experienced. It wasn't just painful for a small amount of time, it lingered on a while, while my foot warmed itself. I have no idea why I went back into the water a few more times. Then came 5pm when nick had to be picked up at the airport. We spent most of the night planning our morning activities in the city of New York.
Day 1 in NYC. We had tickets to see the statue of liberty at 11 so we had about 30 minutes to waste before getting on the ferry. When we got to the statue, it was much bigger than I thought. We walked around it and then finally went in. It sucked that we couldn't get tickets to into the crown. We only got to the base. It was still pretty cool since the base had a whole museum in it. I learned about the history of the torch and how people tried to solve the lighting problem. We took a few more pictures and headed to Ellis Island, which was not really that interesting, so we just looked around the wall of names and went back to the city.
By that time it was already 2ish, so we decided to not walk to the Brooklyn bridge, but instead just see it from afar. Most of is wanted to go to Chinatown for lunch, so we walked toward our destination. We scanned around Chinatown to find a place and ultimately decided on a Szechuan type place. I ordered the bruised lamb with noodles and it was delicious. It actually tasted like authentic Chinese food, something which I have not experienced thus far in America. Next we headed to a very luxurious restaurant for their smoothies; it was very delicious bit very pricey. Right after eating we started to head back to Chloe's for dinner.
Day 2 in NYC. We started later today and didn't get to the city until 11 or so. We went straight to the museum of natural history and spent about 3 hours doing museum stuff. At 2pm, we went to shake shack for dinner. Our next destination was central park. It wasn't really what I expected it to be. There were no performers at every corner. It was just a normal park but a lot larger than most parks. We climbed a rock during our trail. I set my camera up at the bottom and ran up the rock in 10 seconds to get in the picture. It was fun.
We began walk along the streets of New York and went to some cool shops. The apply store and a toy store. We found Noah’s ark for 2400 dollars. We then walked to an ice skating ring, and we saw a booth that sells to tickets to go to the top of the Rockefeller Plaza. The only problem was that the tickets were 21 dollars apiece. So we were hesitant about buying them. We eventually did and it was worth every penny. We got to the top before sunset and took a bunch of pictures, then took more during sunset and a lot more after sunset. I got a chance to see New York at night on top of a 70 story building. It was truly an amazing experience. Even the elevator ride was spectacular, the roof of the elevator put on lighting show for us. We spent about 90 minutes on the top, and had to come back down to earth to go to the Nintendo store.
Next came Times Square. It had the Vegas strip feeling but not up to the Vegas caliber. It was still awesome to see. We went to the M&M store, toys R us, and the Hershey store. All of which are ridiculously expensive.
Our final destination was a train station that was apparently a very important building. It was cool to see. On our way back to Penn station, I got a picture outside of the Madison square garden. It was awesome. We got on the train and went back to Chloe’s.
The next morning, Chloe took us to an authentic New York pizza place. I do admit the pizza was delicious. After lunch, we said our goodbyes and we took off for the Hershey factory. Right as we got to the Veresano Bridge, we realized that we have to pay a toll and that none of us had money on us. After collecting every penny from everyone, we were still about five dollars short. Katie had cash in her wallet but it was in the trunk. We had to stop the car so she can get the money.
After about 4 hours of driving, we arrived at the Hershey factory at 5:36pm only to realize that the factory closed at 5pm. It funny how there were four of us in the car, we remembered to check the address and whether the tour is free, but no one thought to check the hours. Fail us.
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