Tour de Aachen

As a group decision, we unanimously agreed to not travel this weekend, to take a break from our 4 day trip to southern  France. Then a couple people went to Amsterdam, but I don't want to talk about that now.

So Saturday night, George, Andre, and I met up with Mark, and we had a BBQ outside. Both George and I had 5 brats, and a huge piece of chicken. My stomach wanted to explode after that. It hard to say, but there is a limit of the amount of sausages you can eat at once. (Important information for meat lovers and sluts.) Don't chock on it.

Later, we headed to Mark's friends apartment to drink, and we picked up a case of Bitburger. It was just a small gathering, nothing too crazy. Like I said before, we are having a low key weekend. After a few drinks, we started to play "Kings." Everyone who has ever played it know how drunk people become after the game ends, especially when someone brings a bottle of Ouzo. That shit is insanely delicious. When I was little, I always ate this coughing medicine that tasted exactly like Ouzo. Of course, I drank a ton of it. Ben, the guy who brought this, and I were doing shots out of a shot glass the size of Mount Rushmore. Naturally, I was out of my fucking mind. Apparently, I was bragging about my basketball skills and challenged Ben to a match. I had no idea what we bet. (I later found out we bet a beer, and he whooped my ass so bad, that even Jackie Chan would be impressed.)

According to George and Andre, I passed out on the couch at around 2AM. Most people left soon after that. But George and Andre decided to stay, for some reason until 5AM. I mean they stayed up the entire time while I was unconscious; to this day, I still have no idea what happened those three hours. I woke up all of the sudden and saw light outside. I thought to myself "I hope I'm still at the apartment." I opened my eyes and saw George and I felt relived, but in some pain. I ignored that and we started walking home. (I later found out George and Andre slapped me over and over again to wake me up. Thanks guys.)

I jumped on George's back and his initial reaction was of course to hurt me, so he throw me into the wall. Fortunately, alcohol deadened the pain and I barely felt it. But still, cheap shot. What are friends for? To carry you when you are wasted at 5:30 in the morning. 

We were 50 feet from the bus stop, and I saw a bus and naturally assumed I can take it to go home, so I sprinted toward the bus, and I caught it. I pounded on the door for the driver to open it, but he didn't and just drove away. George told me the bus was stopped a red light, so he wouldn't open the door. I said fuck and sat down at the bus stop.

Sometime later, I think it's about 6AM, George woke me up again and told me to get on the bus. Andre told me where to get off, and they both left to go home, which with my luck, both of them lives in the opposite direction. I told them I will be fine and went to sit down.

The bus I took was 3A at the Hauptbahnhof (Main Train Station in Aachen) My destination was the Uniklinik (Aachen Hospital), which is 15 minutes away. I got on the bus expect to be home soon so I can rest easily on my bed.
 
...

The next thing I remember was waking up right at the Uniklinik. I thought "Awesome, I sure know when to wake up." I stood up to get off the bus, and I felt enormous pain from my behind. I realized that my butt cheeks are so sore that I wanted to get ass-cheeks-replacement-surgery. But I then realized they are a really nice pair, and so I decided to walk it off. I had to do the penguin walk to minimize my ass movement.

I wondered to myself, why does my ass hurt so much after a 15 minute ride? Then I checked my phone, and HOLY SHIT, it was 9AM. I was on the fucking bus for 3 FUCKING hours. I rode that bus 3 times around the city. This is easily the longest bus ride of my life.

Take this to be a lesson to everyone out there: DO NOT SIT DOWN ON A BUS IN A COMFORTABLE POSITION AT THE PEAK OF YOUR DRUNKENNESS.

F my life. The F stands for Fucking Awesome.