The Wakeup

Sophomore year is over, and this is the last day I'll live in my dorm room. To my distaste, all of my friends have already gone home, and I was left alone in the building. Fortunately, Foxy's always around to keep me company. This same night, we decided to head to Heat once again, to party together one last time before summer begins.

As well, we pregamed (I mean, who doesn't before going to a club). The place was damn near packed when we got there. I thought to myself tonight would totally worth $5. However, as life always goes, everything goes around and fuck you from behind. Upstairs, the fun part of the club, was almost empty. Everyone's outside chilling on the balcony for some reason.

30 minutes into the action, I decided to find out what tonight is, because Heat usually have a theme for most night. I was excited to find out that tonight was "sexy night." Sounds rocking right? Too bad all the ugly people went. Then comes the beauty of alcohol. It makes boring people interest, forecast ugly people as attractive, and eliminates any standard I have. Screw Einstein, give the dude that invented alcohol a Noble Price.

Given into tonight's Sexy Night theme, I absolutely had to take off my shirt; who can be sexy with a shirt on right? Too bad Foxy didn't share the same belief; I even asked several somewhat attractive girls' opinions (keep in mind I'm already pretty much drunk), and they all said shirt off is better. He didn't budge.

As the night went on, I had several interesting conversations, I had given up on finding a girl with no self esteem, mainly because everyone there was gay. I can only remember 2 of those conversations, they go something like this.

I was talking to this black dude sitting a chair about rap. He mentioned something about Dr. Dre and I just went all black on him.

"Yo dude, Dr. Dre's the bomb, yo. Straight Outta Compton shit is fucking awesome."

Actually, that's all I remember talking to him about. Then I somehow convinced him to give me his neck chain that has a lighting rod on it, you know, one of those nightclub necklaces.

Then, I started talking to a lesbian, and of course, when you talk to a lesbian, you ask questions about being a lesbian, because all guys love lesbians, and those who don't are either gay or asexual.

"So, you were straight before turning into a lesbian?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
"Is it different? How do guys compare to girls?"
"Girls are better, girls know how to take care of girls."
"Of course, I heard guys give the best hand jobs. I don't know it personally, just heard about it."

She giggled, and the rest was blurry.

I went back to the dance floor and literally started dancing with the only girl that is there. 30 seconds into it, I found out she has a boyfriend. I said fuck it, and continued. Too bad another 30 seconds later, she kissed me and ran away. My eye followed her to a fairly large man. I decided to evacuate immediately.

Here is the reason why this story is named the wakeup. We got out of the club, and obvious I was really drunk. Foxy was sober because he has to drive. We spent 20 minutes looking for his car, but it wasn't there. Then we found a sign that says "All streets need to be cleared by 2AM due the marathon tomorrow." We checked our phones and it was 3AM. He obvious wasn't happy, because otherwise we would have gone to the after party that we were invited to.

He decided to call safe rider to get us home. But the wait was 45 minutes. We just sat in the grass and waited. I told him just call me when safe rider gets here, I'll just lie on the grass for a little bit. The next small piece of memory was me getting off the bus and unable to open the door. The security guard has to help me. Then was waking up almost completely wet from head to toe. I had no fucking clue what happened.

The next day, Foxy filled me in. I passed out while lying on the grass, obviously. When the bus finally got to us, Foxy tried to wake me up, but nothing worked. Without other ideas, the bus driver walked out of the bus, while holding a gallon of water. He dumped it all on me and I finally woke up. But I thought I was only out for a minute and didn't realize I was wet. The bus driver dropped me off and I went home. Foxy had to bribe the driver with some cash because he lived farther away. So pouring water on someone passed out actually works, who would known?