The Match of Ages

After blacking out the night before and therefore doing nothing, I tried to make up that night with this night. As usual, we couldn't leave because Foxy don't get off work 'til 11. Even when Foxy changed and was ready, we still had to wait for Matt; the dude take so damn long to put on a shirt.

Saturday night is usually a bummer, mainly due to the lack of parties and entertainment. We wondered to TKE, a usually boring party with a surprisingly civil keg line. Everyone actually stays in a line while waiting instead of the usual pushing and shoving. I can't say the beer tasted good, because it tasted like ass. No matter, I was at a party and getting ready for the fun.

That fun never came. I can pretty much summarize what happened in a couple of sentences. Foxy started dancing with a decently large woman; he dragged me into dancing with her friend, and then out of nowhere, she turned around and kissed me; I was not ready at all, and really confused as to what happened. Then we left.

We were walking back on Atwood, and I swear I still don't know how it started. Foxy and I started to wrestle. Let me describe the scene for you: This was still during the so called snowpocalypse, so every inch of the ground is covered in snow and ice. We just started, and I won round 1. Just as we were about to stop, Matt encouraged us to continue. Foxy won round 2, so I insisted on a tie-breaker. As a man, you either win or lose, there's no middle ground. Right before round 4, a random dude just walked into the scene and suddenly became the referee. I was wondering what the hell that guy was, but I didn't care, I wanted to win this match. Just when you think that this couldn't escalate more, Foxy ripped off his sweater and shirt and started yelling at me. I naturally followed; 30 seconds later, both of us were half naked and wrestling on ice. The ref ruled that the match was over after Foxy got on top of me during round 5, but I know for a fact that I never said I quit. Believe whatever you want to believe.

When we put our shirts back on, we realized that both of us were bloody. Since we were in freezing weather and intoxicated, there was no pain, but there was a lot of hunger. As everyone drunk person do at 2AM, we walked into Surrento's for a $5 pizza. The place was completely packed, but we managed to find a table and sit down. After finishing our pizza, Foxy and I started talking to these two girls at around table, describing our recent mishap.

Then a moment of truth finally arrived, and Foxy and I realized we need to bandage ourselves up. And where's the best place to do that? Of course the answer is the McDonald bathroom. We walked into the bathroom, and Foxy automatically started to bandage me; but after wrapping every part of me that had blood,  he didn't stop and continued. After he was done, my arm looked like it had a cast on. They then somehow convinced me to let them wrap my head in toilet paper and walk out into the street like that. I was a ninja for the first half, and then a mummy for the second half. I even made up a song and a guitar solo. It wasn't great music, but certainly have moron characters.

When we walked to the cathedral, I had a brilliant idea of who can jump over the bushes. I volunteered to be the first, and I somewhat made it. I sort of rolled over. Next was Foxy, I had no idea what happened to him, but he spun the wrong way and landed on his back. If it wasn't for the snow and grass, something would have been broken. The yell he let out was a screeching noise that only he can made. Don't believe me? I wouldn't lie about this. I don't know what possessed us to do this, it just seemed like such a great fucking idea at the moment.

As our agreement for Foxy to come out, we all had to sleep in the common room, which we did. Trust me when I said this: it was not comfortable. I have slept there before twice, one time because I put in my code to open my door wrong 3 times so I had to wait 15 minutes before trying again and I didn't want to wait, another time was just because I just couldn't remember my damn code. They seriously need better couches for occasions such as this.