Too Much Heat at Club Heat

Today was the grand opening of Club Heat, the new Pegasus. I still ponders why they moved to the south side. Wouldn't staying in Downtown produce more profit? Whatever.

We wanted to leave early so we can get in; so Foxy and I went to Face's place to pregame. He's got a nice little studio. The moment I walked in, I knew it was his apartment. There's not one corner of that apartment that's not covered in some sort of alcoholic beverage. Don't get me wrong, I was definitely happy to see it. Mark was also there.

Face "Just drink a couple, whatever you want, and we'll head out. We can drink at the club."
(I was so glad he said that, cause he's the driver for tonight.)
Me "You know I'm under 21 right?"
Face "Shit, then you gotta started drinking."

I obeyed with 3 beers, 4 double shots, 3 mix drinks, and possibly more. I can't really remember. I do remember that while I was drinking my pepsi and vodka, Foxy poured in some rum, and it was absolutely the most disgusting thing ever.

So, after somewhere from 15 to 20 drinks, we started to head to the club. I had some rum on me, and Mark bumped me on the way out, and it splashed everywhere. For some reason, I was really glad, because I knew if I drink more, something bad will happen. Mark offered his vodka, and by offered I mean he forced me to drink it. I managed to avoid that.

We were blasting music, yelling out the window, you know, the regular stuff that drunk dumbasses do. We even stopped in the middle of the trip to piss off a hill or something.

And as expected, when we got the club, there was a huge line of people. It looked like a traffic jam in freaking Manhattan. That's how long the line is. But we still waited in line, and 20 minutes later, we were at the front door.

The bouncer asked us for our id. He checked Foxy's and Face's, and said "alright, you guys are good, just get in." I FUCKING got in as 21, I even got a stamp on my hand to prove it. It was just awesome.

This new club is definitely bigger than the old one, and there were 2 floors: the lower one for the underage people, and the upper one is for those over 21. Naturally, we went upstairs. It was just packed. We had so much trouble walking around, it was nuts.

We just danced with girls and stuff. Nothing exciting really happened. The fun part was at the end of the night. I was left alone to wonder, because I was the odd man out. After searching for a while and realizing that all the girls were taken. I decided to sit down for a little bit to rest up. I lowered my head because usually, 5 hours into being drunk tire most people out. I don't know how long I sat there for, but all of the sudden, I heard loud voices

Bouncer "Wake up, you are outta here."
Me "I wasn't sleeping, I was just sitting there."
Bouncer "I don't give a fuck, you are fucking outta here."

They just carried me outside, and luckily, didn't throw me on the ground. I texted Foxy but there were no responses. I checked the time and it was 1:30; my friend probably weren't leaving any time soon, and I did not want to wait outside in the cold.

So, after 10 minutes, I walked back in. Another bouncer asked me what I was doing, and I just said "I need to go find my friends." For some reason, he just let me in. I found Foxy, and danced with his girl's friend for like 20 minutes.

Then, one of the bouncers who threw me out recognized me, and grabbed me.

Bouncer "If you come back again, we gonna call the cops."

I didn't feel like arguing, so I obeyed and just left. Luckily, this time I got thrown out at 2:20. I texted Foxy again and he said he was on his way out. When the three of them came out, Face looked extremely pissed off. He said some guy tried to steal his girl or something, and I remember getting all fired up to beat up that dude, cause I wasn't happy about getting thrown out. Nothing happened though, we just drove home.

The Time a Girl Punched Me in the Nuts

This is the 3rd straight day that I went out. I wasn't really planning on going out tonight, but Foxy dragged to me to this mysterious house party on Fifth. The only reason he dragged me is because he didn't want to be the odd man out. I don't know why I said yes, cause this night was mostly a disaster.

When we got there, the house was designed in a funny way. The living room where the party was was surprisingly small, while the living room upstairs is almost twice the size. Whatever asshole designed this place obvious can't stand family gatherings or something. I didn't care, I went straight for the alcohol and made a drink consist of peach vodka and coconut juice. It was fucking delicious. I drank this one slowly because I wanted to enjoy it.

Bad fucking move, cause when I finished that cup, there was nothing left. I played beer pong with water for god sakes. I wasn't having fun even if I dominated at beer pong. I thought this night would be the shittest night ever. Luckily, I turned around and got my eyes set on a box of wine. Naturally, I wasn't about to made the same mistake as last time, so I chugged away, as fast as I could. Next thing I know, I was fucking drunk and it was awesome.

I started to talk to this girl named Jamie; did I mention there was like 8 people at this party? No, well know you know. I soon found out that she has a boyfriend, so just as I was about to give up, she invited me up to her room. I thought this might go somewhere, but all she wanted to talk about was how to set up her friend with Foxy. I thought to myself, "whatever, it's not like I can do anything else tonight." So I talked to her.

Then, out of nowhere, a guy bust through the door. I didn't know who he was, so I just waved and said "what's up dude?" He then stormed out and slammed the door shut, Jamie explain to me that dude is her boyfriend. I said to myself "shit, I could have gotten my ass kicked." So I took off immediately.

The next girl, named Lez I talked to had somewhat a temper; she got super pissed out at me for mistaking her for a Mexican. I mean she was literally cursing me out.
"You fucking Asian, don't know what the fuck you are fucking talking about. You and your fucking wits should just get the fuck out of my fucking country." I don't think there's enough "fuck" in this quote to cover everyone she said. It was funny, cause she's telling me to get out of America while she's from Puerto Rico. I chuckled.

The next thing that happened has been confirmed by several people. So apparently, Foxy dared Lez to punch my in the balls while I was passed out. And I continued to challenge her.
"Com'on, you can't do it. You don't have the fucking nerves."
Why was I so fucking stupid???? Next, I was crawling on the floor, yelling in pain. Thank god I don't remember this at all.

When this party was over, Foxy and I went upstairs for some reason, and there was a guy and his girlfriend taking shots of Jose Cuervo. I asked for some, and he told me to lick some salt, take the shot, and then eat a piece of lemon. I tried it, and it was so delicious (possibly due to how drunk I was, but who cares.)

Tonight's alcohol count: 1 mix drunk, 2 shots of vodka, an entire box of wine, and 4 shots of tequila. That a recipe for disaster. Thankfully, Foxy drove, so I actually was able to get back home. The next morning, I woke up with the worst headache and a fever, a perfect way to reward me to going to a shitty ass party.

Starstruck

This is the 2nd part of the 3 part series of this week. Today, I was invited to the Democratic party. Knowing what I know about Democrats here, I expected people to be yelling "Obama, Obama, Obama" all fucking night. Also, I heard the party gets so fucking crazy that it would be an awesome night.

I called up Face and KMo and we headed over at 10PM. The party was somewhat dead when we got there, but who cares. I headed to the basement with my cup and filled it up all the way and started my rampage. The beer was of course terrible, and even with like 5 people, that little room with the keg was still filled up. I was getting irritated about waiting for beer, so I went out of that fucking cubicle and out of nowhere encounter a jug of jungle juice. Now daddy's home. I chugged away until my stomach was on the brink of explosion, then I chugged more. Feeling like heaven, Face and I decided to wait inline for Beer Pong, that is until he started singing Bad Romance and then talked to this girl. I just continued to watch the beer pong battle.

Then out of nowhere, the moment I turned around to look at Face, he introduced me to this girl. So naturally, I started talking to her, and Dave just said "I'm gonna go get more beer, I'll be right back." He never came back. I can't remember what I said or did to that girl, but she absolutely loved me. We were making out within 5 minutes after Face left. We were just kissing, she gave me a hickey on my tongue. It was great. She was stroking my chest, so I naturally returned the favor. I don't want to discriminate, but her boobs were insanely nice; I mean it was perfectly soft, but not slimy; can stand on their own, and she let me play with them. It was fucking awesome, until her idiot friend dragged her away and say they need to go to a private party and I wasn't invited. She begged her friend to let me come, but that bitch didn't bite. So I left and found Face, according to him, he hooked up with 4 different girls that night. That's damn impressive for a party that had like 20 people.

We didn't want the night to end yet, so Face suggested we go to PCafe, but I had to sneak it. So when we got there, Face went in and tried to open up the back door while I waited for him. Then out of nowhere, this black dude said to me "talk with that guy up on the stairs"

David "Why?"
Black dude "Just do it."
Guy "I can't do it, there's too many people."
David "What the fuck do you mean?"
Guy "I just can't do it."
Black dude "Fuck, I can't go in, they recognize me. FUCK."
David "Who the fuck are you that they recognize you?"
Black dude "I'm fucking Dion Lewis."
David "Holy shit, this is fucking awesome, nice to meet you dude."

We shot shit some more, but Face was never able to get us in, apparently there's a bouncer at the back door now, what kind of this shit is this.

Dion just left with his buddies, and me and Face walked down Atwood to look for something. We eventually came across this grill outside of hookah bar, and we each bought a cheeseburger. I swear to god that this burger was the best thing I have ever eaten; it's so fucking tasty. Maybe it was because I was absolutely shitfaced, but who cares, I had a delicious burger. I even went back to my apartment and told my buddies that "I just had the breast burger of my life." I had some trouble pronouncing words. It was a fucking great night.