The Melwood Hostile Hospitality

Today is the Kid Kudi concert. What sucks about it is that it lasted til 10PM, so our options for parties were limited. Especially after discovering a party at Pika, only to get there and realize we had to be on a fucking list. They apparently did not want their party to get too crowded. We just said fuck them and left. After searching for a bit, we got news of a party on melwood. Having no other options, we started walking.

The house that we walked into was surprising more spacious that any other house I have been too. The hallway connected to the door can actually fit 2 people in a row. We said our 'what's ups', nodded our heads toward the dudes living there, and headed downstairs for some beer. To my distaste, the basement was crowded, and the beer they had was called "American." You can't get more cocky than that. Americans drinking American beer, what the fuck? It was no surprise that the beer tasted like ass; no, not a clean and washed ass, but an ass that just evacuated 10 pounds of shits. Without options, I chugged and chugged, minimizing the time that beer stay in my mouth. What was even more fucked up was that they ran out of this American beer. I mean, if you are getting shitty beers, at least buy a shit-ton so you don't ran out an hour into the party.

Being boring and not much else to do, I scoped around, and I saw my friend Fang talking to these two girls. I went over and started to talking with them. I asked Fang for the full beer he had in his hands, he thought that was cute to pour that entire can on me. I was wet from top to bottom, but only in the front. It was so damn uncomfortable; what's worse is the smell, remember how I said the beer tasted like ass, well the smell was worse and I had to carry that with me the entire night. 20 minutes later, all four of us proceeded to move upstairs to dance. Some fuckers destroyed the boombox in the basement, so we wanted to see if any music is playing upstairs. Luckily there was, it was a 1 foot tall karaoke machine; we were in the fucking 80s up there. Too bad no dude was in an afro rocking a cassette player.

I couldn't care less, we just started dancing. What's even more fortunate is that both me and Fang wanted a different girl, and we didn't fight for them. I got the long faced one, he got the baby faced one. Regardless of that, both girls were decent looking, and especially good looking after 8 beers. I have no idea how long we danced, but it was a damn long time. I knew she was into me once we were holding hands, and I tried to let go, but she held on pretty tight.

The surprise of the night happened at about 1AM. The girls went upstairs to go to the bathroom; me, Fang, and this other dude that was trying to compete with Fang for his girl were just talking next to the stairs. Then, out of nowhere, a big dude jumped on Fang, wrapped his arm around Fang's neck, threw him to the ground, and punched him in the face. Being extremely confused, I went in between Fang and that dude.

Me "What the fuck dude? What did we do?"
Dude "That fucker is pissing on my carpet?"
Fang "What are you talking about? I was pissing anywhere, we were just talking."
Dude "You definitely were pissing, how else was  the carpet wet."

At this moment, I realized how fucking dumb this dude is; I just started disproving his theory; fist fight definitely wasn't an option. It was simply a numbers game. On one side, it was me and Fang, totals at about 300 pounds. Barney and my marine friend left with 2 girls; Foxy left cause Lezette was trying to get him into a fight. On the other side, there were 4 huge black dudes, weighing in 1 ton. Chances are if we tried something, we would end up in the hospital, with doctors trying to put our limbs back onto our bodies, and police writing us up for destructive behavior.

Me "How did he piss onto the floor? We were just talking. There was 3 dudes standing in a circle talking, how gay do you think we are?"
Dude "Then who pissed on the floor?"
Me "Fuck if I know, but it definitely wasn't Fang over there. Look at his fly, it's all zipped up. What, you think he can just piss right through his jeans."

I might have said something more, but he was eventually convinced. He apologized to Fang, and told us from now on we can drink for free (We have yet to go back there) and we can stay for the after party. When the girls got back, we told them what happened. Since Fang wasn't really doing well with his girl, I tried to get him some sympathy; it kinda worked, since she was dancing with that other dude and not him just moments before. Regardless, the girls both left, cause according to my girl "They wanted no one tonight." I thought to myself, I just wasted 2 hours, and this was all I get. I said fuck it, and went to check on my friends, the ones that were still left at the party (There was none). But Barney eventually came back, since he was crashing at my place, and needed me.

Right as we were about to leave, Lezette, Snaggie, and some other girl were right about the leave. I decided to wait for them, which turned out to be a great decision. Otherwise I would have missed out on another fight. While we were on the porch, Lezette tried to squeeze through a black dude, and he apparently elbowed her in the face. I personally didn't see this happen, so I couldn't judge who was at fault here. She just went crazy, and charged at the black dude. It told about 3 of us, but we eventually stopped her and dragged her out of that porch. She was crying the entire time, and saying things like "You don't do that to a female." I was laughing on the inside, because she said female. There was no reason for that to be funny, but it definitely was at the moment. Eventually, that black dude and two of his friends caught up with us. My first thought was there would definitely be a war here. To my surprise, Lezette made up with that dude. It was like she was on her 3rd month of pregnancy. The change of mood from angry enough to kill that guy to laughing and hugging him. I just sat back and watched, while just chatting with that black dudes friend. I will never understand woman, especially the Puerto ricans.