The Time a Girl Punched Me in the Nuts

This is the 3rd straight day that I went out. I wasn't really planning on going out tonight, but Foxy dragged to me to this mysterious house party on Fifth. The only reason he dragged me is because he didn't want to be the odd man out. I don't know why I said yes, cause this night was mostly a disaster.

When we got there, the house was designed in a funny way. The living room where the party was was surprisingly small, while the living room upstairs is almost twice the size. Whatever asshole designed this place obvious can't stand family gatherings or something. I didn't care, I went straight for the alcohol and made a drink consist of peach vodka and coconut juice. It was fucking delicious. I drank this one slowly because I wanted to enjoy it.

Bad fucking move, cause when I finished that cup, there was nothing left. I played beer pong with water for god sakes. I wasn't having fun even if I dominated at beer pong. I thought this night would be the shittest night ever. Luckily, I turned around and got my eyes set on a box of wine. Naturally, I wasn't about to made the same mistake as last time, so I chugged away, as fast as I could. Next thing I know, I was fucking drunk and it was awesome.

I started to talk to this girl named Jamie; did I mention there was like 8 people at this party? No, well know you know. I soon found out that she has a boyfriend, so just as I was about to give up, she invited me up to her room. I thought this might go somewhere, but all she wanted to talk about was how to set up her friend with Foxy. I thought to myself, "whatever, it's not like I can do anything else tonight." So I talked to her.

Then, out of nowhere, a guy bust through the door. I didn't know who he was, so I just waved and said "what's up dude?" He then stormed out and slammed the door shut, Jamie explain to me that dude is her boyfriend. I said to myself "shit, I could have gotten my ass kicked." So I took off immediately.

The next girl, named Lez I talked to had somewhat a temper; she got super pissed out at me for mistaking her for a Mexican. I mean she was literally cursing me out.
"You fucking Asian, don't know what the fuck you are fucking talking about. You and your fucking wits should just get the fuck out of my fucking country." I don't think there's enough "fuck" in this quote to cover everyone she said. It was funny, cause she's telling me to get out of America while she's from Puerto Rico. I chuckled.

The next thing that happened has been confirmed by several people. So apparently, Foxy dared Lez to punch my in the balls while I was passed out. And I continued to challenge her.
"Com'on, you can't do it. You don't have the fucking nerves."
Why was I so fucking stupid???? Next, I was crawling on the floor, yelling in pain. Thank god I don't remember this at all.

When this party was over, Foxy and I went upstairs for some reason, and there was a guy and his girlfriend taking shots of Jose Cuervo. I asked for some, and he told me to lick some salt, take the shot, and then eat a piece of lemon. I tried it, and it was so delicious (possibly due to how drunk I was, but who cares.)

Tonight's alcohol count: 1 mix drunk, 2 shots of vodka, an entire box of wine, and 4 shots of tequila. That a recipe for disaster. Thankfully, Foxy drove, so I actually was able to get back home. The next morning, I woke up with the worst headache and a fever, a perfect way to reward me to going to a shitty ass party.