This was Saturday night, we had just gotten back from our work weekend trip. And everyone from work gathered together for a party. It was all set to be an awesome night.
At around 10PM, as usual, I like to pregame a bit before heading up, but since I was meeting my buddies somewhere else, I decided to just take 3 quick shots of tequila. And tequila to me will pretty much fuck me up. No complain there. Then I headed out to meet my buddies, and we all headed to the party. Got in, and started drinking. The party was just like any other party, nothing too special, but I do know most people there, and that's what made it more fun. Just a few chit chat here and there. Out of nowhere, I heard wind of a keg downstairs, and of course, I did what my impulse wanted me to without thinking, and went downstairts. Of course it is very obvious to everyone, when you have a free keg, you do keg stands, regardless of the consequences, you never let up a chance to do that. At least that's how I think. Again, I don't worry about the consequences. Then, the rest of the night was pretty much blank.
I remember a few things.
- I yelled at a coworker for being mean to the friends I brought, she was mad because my friends don't work with everyone and apparently the party was exclusive.
- I kept chugging the jungle juice, taking shots, and apparently did another keg stand.
- I was going to play beer pong with my boss, but while waiting I said I'll be right back, going to get some stuff, and never came back.
- Cops came sometime during the night, and was asking about a car parked in front of the house, and we all had to hide downstairs. It was like a fucking prison camp. We were told to shut up and be quite.
After the cops left, at least from what my buddies told me, I went upstairs and kept on drinking. Then I died on the couch. I was literally lying motionless for like half an hour, if you didn't know me, you would think that I actually died. My buddy dragged me out of the house, and the moment I stepped out, I started puking everywhere and everything. But as a gentleman, I only puked in the neighbor's yard, and kept my friend's clean. How nice of me!
To understand this next part, I will have to back up a bit. My school ofter a door to door service late at night specifically for drunk idiots like me, and each driver is equipped with a bottle of freezing water to wake up kids who are passed out drunk. And I have experience this several times. Now back to the story.
My buddy called them and asked them to pick us up. And I passed out cold in the front porch, so the bus driver got me wet top to bottom. I woke up, without realizing what happened and got on the bus. However, I was so incoherent that I wouldn't say my own address, at least not the right now, so the bus driver, being the considerate, concerned person that he was, decided to drop us off at the emergency room.
Standing at the front door was a few uniformed police officers. Luckily I was way too drunk to say anything, otherwise I probably would have gotten a beating. But they were nice enough to provide a wheelchair for me. The next morning, I woke up at 6AM, with needles and tubes coming out of me, I was in a state of shock, and looked around, and said fuck, I must have gotten a citation and I'll be fucked and fired. What a good way to start a job. The nurse came in and asked me for some info, and told me I'll have to stay in the hopsital if I don't have anyone to get me home. So I called the most responsible person I knew, and woke her up from her beauty sleep to come and get me. At the same time, her mom was also in the same room. I have no idea how I make such good impressions on parents. I got to her place, put on one of her t-shirts, and passed out on her couch.
Epilogue: As many of you know, ER is very expensive, even if they only stick a needle in you and do nothing else. The total cost was $1254, I was scared shitless, cause I don't have that type of money, but luckily, insurance coverd $1204. It was only 50 bucks for me, who said our health insurances is fucked up. I say it's working out decently. But I guess spending $50 dollars for a good story might be worth it.
